Systems Thinking Case Study #5:
Systemic structure that controls Child Sex Tourism: The more we
keep things under wrap, the more it looms its 'head' .... elsewhere!
HOW COME DESPITE EFFORTS TO CURB EXTRAMARTIAL ACTIVITIES (THROUGH HIV/AIDs CAMPAIGNS, EMPHASIS ON UPHOLDING CORE VALUES, PRACTISE RELIGIONS, INSTILLING DISCIPLINE AND UPHOLDING LAW AND ORDER, ETC.) IS PROSTITUTION (leading to child-sex tourism) BY MARRIED SINGAPOREAN MEN PROLIFERATING (TREND REPORTS, CHILD-SEX IS AN UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCE)?
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DIALOGUE NOTES: WHAT DO YOU SEE HAPPENING?
- "The men are unscrupulous and needs a tight hand to reign them in"
- "The media blitz in popularizing the young female body is perpetuating the problem. And we need to put a stop to
that."
- "The sex industry is blatantly operating openly (through the tourism industry, taxi drivers, etc.) to lure in the men."
- "The prostitutes and particularly the child prostitutes are victims too, trying to make ends meet by making money
in this industry."
- "Is anyone talking to the men? Why are they doing it? What are they saying" (this drew a blank)
- "The men face rising fears of falling libido and over time find themselves in muted sexual relations with their wife void
of variety in sexual practices. Sometimes wives encourage this just to make sure the husband does not disturb her
to do the act."
- "SIngaporeans follow the rule of law when they are on this land, yet, flout laws (e.g. Instances of littering, drug
offending, etc.) outside the country. Expanding extra-terrestrial jurisdiction therefore is the way to go! As it has
always worked well for other issues, in the past!
- "People are losing touch with the core values of religion and needs to get back there before we can see the trend
corrected!!"
What is happening at the level of the Individual ....
TESTING THE ARCHETYPE:
Assuming this archetype was true,
what kinds of behaviour and
actions would we see?
- By the man
- By his significant other (wife,
girlfriend)
- By parents
- By his superior
- By the government
What (our paradigms) is keeping
thos archetype alive?
Insight / clue: In my (the
adult) eyes, admitting he or she
(the child) 'is grown up' is a sign
of my impending decline of virility
(and therefore superiority).
What is happening at the level of Society-at-Large that is creating the balancing loop above?
INTERVENTION AT DIALOGUE:
BEGINNERS:
“What benefits do we earn by allowing
this structure to perpetuate in
society? What fears, if any, do we
hold that keeps the (vicious) structure
alive? What is the price we are paying
by doing so?
What's is (are) making it difficult for us
to see or do things differently?
What is the price we pay by
continuing our attention on the act of
prostitution?
“What would it look like if things were
working at their inspired best? What
do you see?”
INTERMEDIATE:
“What would need to happen first
before the intended reality begins to
work well? What signs can we expect
to see happen?"
"What is holding the men back from
saying these things? Why? What?
Who?
What needs to happen before men
are able to say things, so that others
might learn better to know to work
with the core of the issue!?
ADVANCED:
What really is holding us back in
bringing this profession to a stop in its
track? What is keeping us in using the
law as a means to get there?
What has been the root- cause of the
oldest profession on earth,
prostitution?
What needs to happen to bring the
leverage points to reality? (i.e.
leverage points,such as the 'reduction
of the impact of deference to
authority' and the 'need not to cover
a part of one's life, be it with one's wife
/ peers / colleagues'?
- Prostitution is a function of one’s self-esteem – when this drops, prostitution activities
goes up.
- Self-esteem is a function of the extent to which one is regarded (and/or regards oneself)
as adults vs are expected to assume ‘child-like’ attributes (to preserve qualities of
innocence and a way for parents to keep themselves and ‘their activities (which are
deemed as ‘dirty’ and amoral) at arm’s length from their children) and or on a wider scale,
the "bedroom secrecy" carry over into the corporate metaphor of the bosses know best
and we need to show deference to the boss.
- The regard for individuals ‘as adults’ is a function of the extent of ‘the parent
structures’ within the system, be it one’s own parents, the government or even one’s
bosses (and am curious the role religions play too?), exists. This may include
insubordination of personal choices and decisions in deference to authority and the 'larger'
good. The more of any one or a combination of them, goes up, self-esteem goes down.
- The greater the act of sexual intercourse is perceived as a 'dirty or immoral act'
rather than an expression of intimacy between two individuals, the more it is perceived as
an act that has to be done 'out of sight and behind doors' and when coupled with the
need to create opportunities to express one's individual right or the capacity to make
'one's own decisions' those decisions are 'conveniently' made behind doors! The 'child'
grows believing any time one needs to make decisions personally and express oneself, it
has to be done behind doors (imagine the impact this has on 'the level of prostitution in
such environments. Will it ever really come down?). The more we keep things under
wrap, the more it looms its 'head' .... elsewhere! The intention here is not to encourage
promiscuity, but ways we could live the experience of sexuality without driving all sexual
activities to behind the doors'!
- The greater there is of the “me-first” (an attribute of lowered self-esteem or ‘the child’),
the more the relationship between the man and the woman is likely to stay at the physical
(sexual) and mental (need for procreation, need for maintaining the institution of
marriage) needs and less so, at the emotional level (level of engagement, levels of
emotional needs of care, trust, love, kindness, understanding).
- The greater already is the rift between the man and the woman in the early part of
their relationship (the lack of the emotional connection in one’s relationship), the wider is
the rift over time, particularly as the woman experiences menopause and a declining libido,
driving the need for men to seek sexual gratification in the sex industry.
- The more the need for prostitution and given the fear of AIDs and the man’s inherent
awareness of his own changing (declining) libido over time (and the need to prove that
his significance is not diminished), to avoid bringing AIDs back to his family these to the
need for child prostitutes over time, and hence child-sex prostitution.
HIGH LEVERAGE STRATEGIES:
- Reducing the sense of 'childness' and supporting growth of sense of realism
and mutual respect and a greater 'adult perspective' of sexuality
- Couples learning to support and reinforce their mutual needs (e.g. men's need for trust,
acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval and encouragement and women's needs
for caring, understanding, respect, devotion, validation and reassurance) and achieving a
greater sense of acceptance, from which one attempts to grow-up.
- Reducing the need to keep a part of one's life that one does not want others'
to know and therefore increasing the ability to open up one's heart!
- And watch the prostitution industry simmer down and go away. Right now it is feeding
off silently these emotions emerging silently within societies. The trick is to siphon off these
emotions and it would cut off the fuel that is feeding the industry.